Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Ugly Girls Be Quiet. Pretty Girls Clap Like This

Long time no see. I have never been this miserable waking up. Have you ever woken up and every part of your body hurt inside and out? That's how I feel. Anyways, I'm done being dramatic. I have a story. So, I've been messing around with my hair and I realized how long it is. In fact, if I were to pick it out I would look like this:
 
Yes, I would look like a super saiyan from Dragon Ball Z, except I would be the only black one. Speaking of Japanese programing, please tell me you guys didn't forget about Pokemon:

I remember when I was little and everyone was getting advances on their allowances and cutting deals just to get those dumb trading cards. I remember begging my dad for about a week about getting me a Gameboy Advance so I could play all the assorted Pokemon games. Looking back on it, though, I'm somewhat perplexed. People hate making animals fight. You saw what they did to Michael Vick for fighting dogs. Yet, the whole premise of Pokemon is to capture wild Pokemon, train them and get them strong, then you're supposed to fight other Pokemon trainers and make their Pokemon "faint", which in turn makes them unable to fight anymore. If that doesn't sound like dogfighting, I don't know what does. I'm sorry for ruining people's childhood with my comparisons to negative things in the adult world. Oh well, gotta get with it or get lost.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Well Alright

So, right now, I'm sitting in my next door neighbor's room listening to him flirt with some girl. He thinks he's deep. In reality, he's as deep as a toddler's swimming pool. I think he believes he's the reincarnation of Common. Ok, I'm going to stop making fun of him. Has anyone had those weeks where in the morning, you wake up optimistic about the day only to be let down over the course of the day? Don't get me wrong, every day is a great day for me. However, I guess I'm ungrateful because I only want one thing each day. And, in all honesty, it's so close, yet so far away. Whoa, I just rhymed. Does anyone know what happened to the Wonder Twins?

I feel like the Wonder Twins vastly underutilized their powers. When their rings touched, they could transform into anything. Yet, what do they do? They transformed into the lamest creatures and objects. They just did what it took to get the job done? Why couldn't they transform into weapons or mythical creatures? I can think of approximately 24.737467 examples. Why couldn't they transform into the Loch Ness monster or a cool dragon? What a waste of talent.

I was talking to my friend the other day, and she posed a great question. She asked me if I really laughed out loud when I used the acronym "lol". At first, I thought that was an absurd question until I realized that people rarely laugh out loud when they text that acronym. So in a sense, are we just being habitual liars when we say "lol"? I like to think I'm funny, but I guess now that I think about it, saying "lol" is the equivalent of a pity laugh or listening to a 3 year old tell a story when their narrative skills are clearly not on the level of a Steven King or a John Gresham. However, I guess giving a pity "lol" is just the right thing to do. Ok, I'm leaving. Kick rocks.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I Spit Hot Fire

I'm sitting here in my business team meeting and I just wondered, what happened to all the good karate shows like "Kung Fu"?

I miss shows like "Kung Fu" that got impressionable youth to break junk around the house.

I also had a random life question that I want to pose. Will the flat top or the jheri curl ever return? To be honest, I miss them: 

That is so classy. Hopefully, you notice the sarcasm in my writing. On another note, I'm convinced "Boyz in the Hood" should have won an Academy Award. Very rarely has a show contained great drama, intense action, unrequited love, as well as life lessons that everyone could follow. I also think in the future, it will be a major part of black history because it was the only movie that I believed accurately depicted African American high schoolers of that generation and in a larger sense, African American youth. Well, I'm gone for awhile. See, I know my destination, but I'm just not there.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I Ain't Crazy, No Yes I Am

1, 2, 3rd floor, hospital bound. I know, it is extremely late over on this end. However, I had an epiphany. I have always known what unconditional love was. However, any love I felt has never been tested. For instance, my best friend, who might as well be my brother, has never tested our friendship. I get along with him perfectly. I know what he's thinking even when he doesn't at the time and vice versa. I've known him since I've come into the world, literally. Therefore, we've never had any problems. I am not complaining either. When it came to girls, I rarely ever said it. To this day, only three girls in my life have ever heard it. To be honest, I had weird ways of showing it. My actions didn't correspond with my words. I felt it in my heart, but I didn't know how to express it. Especially, when the first one ended very horribly, it killed me and I was so bitter. I honestly erased this person out my life. However, since then, especially during these short months in college, I have learned what unconditional love truly is.

The first instance of love that I learned was how to love another man. Like I always say, "no homo". In other words, I'm not gay. However, I am in touch with my sexuality enough to love my friends. Of course I love my best friend. I would take a bullet for him. I also love my friends in college, especially my roommate. I knew he was like a brother to me, but nothing tests your love like having to take care of someone when they cannot help themselves. It's the same love that I believe Jesus felt when he was washing his disciples feet. He had so much love for them as individuals, that the best way he could express it was by lowering himself and serving them the best way he could.

I also learned that unconditional love meant putting your own desires aside and realizing what was truly important. Remember the first love I told you about that ended horribly? Well, I feel like God put in my heart to finally realize that if I truly loved her unconditionally, I had to first forgive myself for my shortcomings as well as fix any hurt I caused and then truly forgive her for all the pain I felt in my heart. It sounds cliche and stupid, but honestly, I did it the other day, and it felt absolutely amazing. The most important part is to do it with good intentions. I am so secure now and I know that even if I never see this girl or talk to her again, or if nothing ever happens between us, I know the air is clear and there is no residual bitterness. In other words, just as God forgives us and gives us a clean slate, we should do likewise.

The third form of unconditional love that I learned was love through adversity. This one dawned on me, and it was quite profound. It's easy to love someone when there are no problems and everything is peachy. However, the hardest part of unconditional love is to love even when you don't have the fuzzy feelings or when you are in an argument. Anybody can get over it. Suppressing feelings does wonders. However, what turns it into unconditional love is when you can honestly admit that you were wrong and not only apologize, but do what you can to fix the situation. On the other side, you have to be willing to forgive and work things out. Love is not a destination. It is a journey. To be honest, it is a never ending journey. People have to realize that to love anything, you have to respect yourself but at the same time, put your selfish desires aside. Also, you have to be willing to improve something about yourself daily, because each day of improvement is a step in that journey. Finally, we have to realize that unless God is in it, you're not going anywhere. A car can't move without an engine, thus a relationship cannot progress without God. "Love like you've never loved before and love like it's your last chance and you're never going to love again."-Jordan Smallwood

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wake Up

Is anyone as excited as I am for the movie adaptation of "Where the Wild Things Are"?

That is a classic book. It's a shame that people who have never read it are going to see the movie. The book is a children's book. I think it has less than 15 sentences. To make a full movie out of it is an achievement. I just hope that it doesn't detract from the initial charm of the book.

I used to think writing children's books had to be the easiest job in the world. However, after writing a children's book as a project for English class when I was in high school, I saw that these writers are brilliant. First of all, there are many children's books already in print. For someone's book to be successful, they have to first write a unique story that has not been heard. Then, they have to find a lesson relevant to today's child. Oh, and it has to be entertaining.

It is definitely raining pretty hard in D.C. I was wondering, when it rained during Jesus' time, could he even splash in the puddles? While all the kids were splashing, having a great time, did Jesus jump on puddles like we jump on the sidewalk? I'm going to make a note to ask him that.

Guess what? I'm scared. In all seriousness, though, I am scared. Have you ever had that feeling that you're about to hit a crossroads that will decide your path forever? Well, I'm almost there. All I can do is pray, relax, and eat fake D.C. chinese food. By the way, I have a bone to pick with all of the chinese restaurants near Howard University. Why do they make chicken wings and fries better than they make chinese food?

Yes, that is the best dish in D.C. Chicken wings with "mumbo" sauce, which I have no idea what that is still; with a side of fries. I shamelessly put pictures in my blogs. Oh well. Don't leave. Can we make it like it was?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

If You Don't Like That, Then Send It Right Back

Hey, Hi, How You Doing? I just had a sudden craving for Extreme Lemonade Blow Pops:

If you don't know, now you know. Sorry, today I am very scattered. I was thinking, in the "Toy Story" movie franchise, whenever any of Andy's toys goes missing, he tries to find them. Follow my logic on this. If they were to want to leave and they escaped, Andy would try to find them still, not to mention he wrote his name on them. Is that essentially slavery? According to the movie, they are living beings. They are owned by someone who feels like he is their superior. Another toy "owner" took them. When they escaped, he sent his dog after them:
[ TOY STORY POSTER ]
Looks like slavery to me. I mean how did I think of that? Like a rental, bring it back.

Leather Jacket, Black Glasses, All American Bad Boy

Aloha. World, I might have had one of the most up and down past few weeks of my life. For one, school is punching me in the face unmercifully. I am working on homework all the time and I think it's making my loved ones mad. By the way, sorry in advance. It's going to be a long semester. I also realized I have the best parents in the nation. For one, as soon as D.C. got cold, my mom sent my winter clothes the next day. Expediency is a virtue. Along with my clothes, I got the greatest care package. If you haven't noticed by now, I'm lauding my mom with praise. However, the best part of my mom is the fact that she totally caught me by surprise with how cool she is. To make a long story short, she found out about my tattoo that I got that I was planning to hide for four years. However, she didn't hate me as I anticipated. Instead, she checked to make sure I was safe, even though she hates tattoos. That has to be unconditional love by my account. My dad has always been cool, but my mom was suspect for the longest time. However, I have no doubts now. Over and out.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Stumblin' Up That Stairway to Heaven

Pow! I was wondering, what would it be like if I had my own soundtrack to life? That would be kind of cool. I got this idea while I was walking with my friend to my psychology class. We were walking in unison. We looked fresh. Those things combined made for probably the best combo to add a theme song to. I chose the "Kill Bill" theme song. Go ahead, be jealous of my soundtrack. I was reading the paper today and I was extremely surprised. Barack Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize. I'm not condemning Barack Obama in any way. I don't dislike him or his methods. However, I kind of have a problem with how he won the award and nothing has been accomplished in his presidency yet. Actually, I take that back; nothing substantial. However, I want to hire whomever drives the Barack Obama hype machine. Maybe they'll make me king of the world.

Guys, I realized what I'm missing in my life, a good dose of Dave Chappelle. Why did God let him go to Africa and leave me with this void in my life? What am I supposed to laugh at, Dane Cook? How atrocious. I have a bone to pick today. Why does everyone want to be a thug in college? I touched on this point a while back, but I realized yesterday that a lot of people are sensitive thugs. I now understand why Jay-Z said, "sensitive thugs, ya'll all need hugs." I guess these days, I'm starting to see thugs being thugs over the wrong thing. I'm not condoning thuggery in any way, shape, or form. However, I believe that whatever you choose to be, be the best and most authentic that you can be. For thugs, that means no fake fights, no talking trash online, and no fighting because someone hurt your feelings. What is that? Thugs out here are getting their feelings hurt too much. Boo hoo, cry me a river. I'm honest with myself, I'm no thug. Therefore, I can't do thuggish things. Oh well. I guess I missed out. But I'd rather not be a thug than a sensitive thug.

For my west coast people, I miss Jamba Juice:

Yea, I dare anyone to find a smoothie place that beats it. Oh and by the way, it was started in Northern California. Get some. It's big boy music, it should make you wanna grow up.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Bounce to the...Left. Bounce to the...Right

Happy Monday. No, it is not a happy Monday I take that back. I've been thinking about this for awhile, doe anyone remember the show Street Sharks?


That was the show back in the day. I'm pretty sure I watched every episode. I mean, how can you not like it? It has a winning formula. It was a show with sharks who had six packs and huge biceps. They could "swim" through any environment. Not to mention, they were sharks!! I'm so sorry, you guys should have seen this show. If not, you can probably Youtube it.

I have another tidbit to share with everyone. Craig Robinson is hilarious. You might know him from movies such as Pineapple Express or shows such as The Office. Anyway, I found this site called funnyordie.com and these comedians are just acting a fool on the site posting videos. Some people should not be able to use a camera. Anyways, back to Craig Robinson. This might be the video of the week:






Watching that video gave me the greatest idea. I can't sing that well. But I can play instruments. I decided my serenades are going to be poems with beautiful chords in the background. I just realized something. When a genie says they can grant any wish, why is there always some fine print that people didn't hear when it comes time to wish for things? It's almost like people aren't allowed to wish for the most important things in life. Genies aren't even real, so why am I complaining? Ok, I'm gone. Judo chop!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Rock With Me Tonight for Old Time's Sake

So, a few years ago, I had this dream that I was running from something and I fell off a cliff. In the dream I was watching this happen to myself. As I watched myself fall off the cliff, I thought that was the end of me. However, a second later, I saw myself rise in a hot air balloon. My hot air balloon traveled for awhile and then it popped. However, as I fell, I landed in a car that was fashioned like a blue Crayola car. After that, the dream ended. There's no deep meaning to what I just told you. I just wanted to write about it because it made no sense. You know what does make sense? I don't know.

Has anyone seen the Gatorade "What's G?" commercial? It's epic.

Every time I see that commercial, I get excited. Not because Lil' Wayne is in it. Not because it is full of sports heroes. Honestly, it's because I see my own potential in it. I don't feel that way because I think I'm better than everyone else. It's not my place to even judge. I just know I will work my way up to where I will be legendary in something. People think being the best is all about superficiality. It's not. It's being great inside and out. The rapper Smitty puts it best when he says, "a mouth full of gold don't make you no g."


Yes, today is my day of jumping around between different subjects. This weekend gave me my highest highs and my lowest lows. And, I am freaking confused to be quite honest. One thing I did realize is that I am a very particular person. When I like something, I stick with it, I'm scared of death, I hate failing or messing up at all, I always want to be perfect, I'm loyal, and I am overly cerebral. It's weird, but I want to at least be honest with myself because if I wasn't honest with myself or anyone for that matter, what would be the point of even speaking, especially as much as I do? Ok, I'm done.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Thank You Thank You Thank You

You're far too kind. Everyone, my internet has been down for a couple days and I've been busy so sorry for not writing anything. Whoa, hold on. Who am I to say that? I'm acting like my posts are that important. I apologize. I wonder who reads these things anyway. Ok, right now, I'm watching the Top 10 One Shot Wonders on NFL Network and "Ickey" Woods just came on the countdown. I wonder, who knows how to do the Ickey Shuffle?

People laugh about that dance, but I promise you, in 20 years, someone will have the same joke about "Crank That Soulja Boy", which is by far the silliest dance of the new millennium.

Guys, I have no idea why, but I am developing an insatiable desire for slow jams. I don't understand. I wish I could sing so people would think I was a cool singer and maestro of rhythm and blues. I need to stop. I'm really happy today. See, I ain't dead or in jail. I can't complain.